7 Funny Wedding One-Liners
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Toasts are usually given at the wedding reception. There are many kinds of toasts. There are toasts from the groom to the bride, from the bride to the groom. From the best man to the groom, from the groom to the best man, from the maid of honor to the bride, from the father to the bride, and so on. Toasts are fun. They’re the best part of the wedding for some people.
But when YOU are the one slated to give a toast, that can make for a week’s worth of nerves. Should it be short or long? Should it be funny or solemn? Should you talk about just one of the parties, or both? How do you start? How do you finish? And so on.
If you want to give a 4 minute toast, you’ll want to find some resources to help you. But here are some thoughts to get you thinking in the matrimonial direction.
1. Marrying is all about just obtaining a piece of paper. Divorcing is just obtaining another ~Celeste Tan
2. Marriage is like eating at a restauant. You order one thing, then you see what someone else has, and you wish you’d ordered that.
3. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 2 days — she doesn’t like me to interrupt her.
4. If a man says something in the forest, and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?
5. A husband’s last words should always be: “OK, buy it.”
6. A groom told his bride that he would go through hell for her. How right he was.
7. There are three rings to marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Use these alone, or weave them into a longer toast. Or don’t use them at all. Just use them to get yourself thinking along the right lines. You’ll do great! If you’re a guy, you’ll leave the bridesmaids swooning. If you’re a girl, you’ll leave everyone crying happy tears.
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