Three Ways To Have Healthy Communication In A Relationship
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The majority of all marriage problems are related to the lack of effective communication between spouses. Although if you were to ask each spouse separately how their communication skills are they would assure you that there is no problems. Unfortunately their spouses will have something very different to say.
This is nothing to fear, however, and can be resolved fairly easily. One of the most effective ways to mange this problem is to step up some communication rules that both you and your spouse need to properly follow and at all times, when you want to convey a message to your spouse and want to make sure the message is clearly understood.
1. Utilize A Speaking Item- One of the main problems with effective communication is that couples tend to speak at the same time, trying to get their points across. This leads to them being unable to hear and take in what the other is saying, therefore making it more difficult to resolve the issue they are facing. Instead of speaking at one time, have an item (such as a stick or a shell) and use it as the speaking item. When someone is speaking they will hold this item and the other is only allowed to sit there and listen. Once the first person is finished with what they have to say it is then time to pass the item to the listener, who will now become the speaker. It is very important that you do not speak unless you are holding the item. This will allow for each to get their points across as well as listen closely at what your partner is saying.
2. Stick To The Subject- Many times when a couple tries to communicate they start bringing up other issues from the past. They have such a history together that one thing leads to another and then finally back into an argument. Addressing only one issue at a time can really help to focus the communication so that both partners are on the same page.
3. Wait Before You Speak- When a problem arises couples often want to discuss it then and there, and this can cause for a very heated argument, as both will be agitated and defensive. Instead, create a specific day and time where you can sit down and discuss the issues that arise during the week. This gives you and your spouse a change to think about the issues and what you would like ot communicate to your spouse. This will allow you to both discuss all the issues rationally and without getting into a heated argument.
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